So Nine have recently re-branded, dropping the enormously expensive blue square sans dots they’d been sporting for the last few years. The traditional nine dots have been reintroduced, to try and convince us that the channel itself is about to reborn after its near total destruction under the tutelage of John Alexander and his bastard boys. I desperately want to believe Nine’s on the rise but I just don’t feel that’s where they’re headed.

Nine’s dominance has always stemmed from their public image as “The Authority”. They’re the channel for the ones with class and glamour. This “Hollywood in a Bottle” attitude has its own drawbacks. Hell it has plenty (I never used to watch Nine because I saw it as my grandparents channel). But atleast it had character and they did do things properly. They absolutely nailed it with these, now very old, series of idents. It captured the class and still made it feel down to earth. But where has this authority and individuality gone? They seem to have flushed it all down the toilet in a desperate attempt to imitate the enemy. Take this network promo as an example.

Can’t you help but feel that the core message is “WE’RE SO GOD DAMN HAPPY! WE’RE JUST SO UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING HAPPY!”. And the “We love/heart tv” slogan which was almost literally stolen from seven’s “Gotta Love It”?My faith in Nine first started to deteriorate after they decided to drop everything people loved the Today show for, and just make it a pale imitation of Sunrise (without everything people love Sunrise for). Not to mention it’s just generally EXCRUCIATING to watch! If they’d hired a High School English student to script their banter it would seem more relaxed and less forced, I don’t know who the heck does it now but they really should be fired.But despite my frustrations with the Channel in general, the re-branding hasn’t been a total disaster. It’s quite pleasant and their “Coming Up Tonight” titles are really nicely done. I can’t help but feel a little frustrated at how there isn’t a consistent on-air presence though. Previously, all Channel communication had the same basis, a strong orange bar down the left with a nine logo half way along, even their print advertisements sported it. Now thought its just a cavalcade of half-backed ideas. But this can be excused when held in contrast to the abomination that is their revised news presentations.

Whoever designed the previous news presentations truly understood practical design, everything was readable and clear and there were no tacky fad-tastic elements mashed in for novelty. Now we have gradients flowing into gradients flowing into gradients, buried behind enormous 3D bars left right and centre. I can’t help but feel like I’m trapped in Web 2.0 hell, and I can’t even close my browser.

Not to mention the MIND BLOWINGLY AWFUL backdrop they’re using in their national bulletins throughout the day (11am - 4:30pm). I would have thought that they would learn from EVERY OTHER BROADCASTER IN AUSTRALIA that keyed in backdrops are terrible and should be avoided. No other network (cable or commercial) uses them and it is an enormous mistake to do so. Especially one which is as busy and bright as the one they debuted with today.

Thankfully, though, they have retained the “large billboard in the sky” intros, which I was quite fond of. When I saw the 11am news I was terrified they would not be using the Sydney skyline backdrop, which I think is a rather unique and important part of their news presentations. Fortunately however they are.

The strange thing is, I’d actually grown quite fond of the big blue square. I hated it at first, but it grew on me. The dots still feel a bit of a strange and silly addition (what does the dots say about the channel that a 9 doesn’t already? What extra meaning can we find? If none, why are they doing it?) but perhaps they’ll also grown on us over time.

[Thanks to the magic of idents.tv and whatsonthetube.net]

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